Musicians know when their instruments will fit in the overhead bins.
This experience was really awful... while heading home from Dallas (after some of the most fun days I've had EVER with Chris), I checked in at the front counter for my ticket.
"How many bags are you checking?"
"One." I set my bag on the scale.
"What's that on your shoulder?"
"A violin."
"I'm sorry, you'll have to check that, too."
Now, musicians run in to this all the time. Misinformed employees just trying to do their job. So we have a couple responses to it. I tried response #1:
"I'm sorry, I can't check my instrument. I have to bring it with me, but it will fit in the overhead bin."
Didn't fly. She told me that musical instruments were not allowed.
Response #2:
"The lack of a regular cabin pressure runs the risk of destroying my very expensive instrument, and I'm sorry, but I can't risk that."
This time, she threatened not to even let me on the plane.
Response #3 (which I've never had to use before now):
"Look, my insurance won't cover my $50,000 instrument, so if I were to check this, I'd need some kind of waiver from the airlines stating that they would be responsible for any damage that is incurred in the process of checking this thing."
She looked a little shocked that I was so adamant, but for some reason stood her ground and said, "Mam, musical instruments are NOT permitted on flights. You will have to buy an extra ticket for it."
I was totally blindsided and REALLY annoyed at this point, so I threw my credit card on the counter. "Fine, get me another seat," I say, figuring I can call the airlines later and bitch my way to a refund.
"That will be $248 for a one-way ticket, mam."
"Whatever."
At this point, my logic kicks in. I know I've flown many many MANY planes with violin in hand, and it has never been a problem. I've flown this particular airline before, and it's never been a problem. So I ask them in the most civil voice I can muster (as she rings up my card,) "Why are musical instruments not allowed on planes?"
"They're considered hazardous material. Anything that's not luggage is considered hazardous."
Okay, fine. "Why is this hazardous?"
"Because if you store it in the overhead bin, it can slam against the latch, forcing the bin to open and falling on someone's head."
Ah-ha! The flaw! "How is this different from any other bags you may store up there?"
The polite face frowns and insists, "Musical instruments are NOT allowed on airplanes."
My logic now goes out the window, and my emotions take control. "Then how come I've been flying with this thing for YEARS and never had it be a problem?"
"This policy has been there ever since the beginning of the airline, but they haven't started enforcing it until March 3rd."
This seemed ambiguous. "Then how come I flew your airline TWO DAYS AGO and no one said anything?"
"Then someone wasn't doing their job."
I ask if this is an airline regulation, and they insist that it's an FAA regulation. I explain that this CAN'T be true, otherwise I'd be stopped in security every time I put my violin through an X-ray machiene.
"Have you flown American? Because they're really strict about that."
"Yes, I've flown American! I've flown EVERY major airline and NONE OF THEM have given me any trouble about my instrument!"
By this time, she's finished printing my violin's ticket, which is printed out for a cello. (Spelled "chelo" on the printout, by the way, which really adds to the airline's credibility.) I explain that I definitely don't have a cello, I have a violin. I even swing it around to her view to look at again.
"I know, but we don't have a violin classification on here, so we had to ring it up as a cello."
By this time I'm on the verge of tears, and another ticket agent helpfully tells me that there's an 800 number I could call to straighten this out after I get to my destination. "I'd like that number, thank you." I'm now trying to bravely push my way past this, because I know sometimes tears look very unprofessional.
I waited at the desk for about 20 minutes while the ticket agents tried to get their supervisor's attention. He was busy doing other things, so they started checking in other customers, while I stood there, pissed off. It's at this point that I realized they didn't really know how important this was and how upset I was as a dissatisfied customer, so I broke and let my damn tears flow. The combination of a blubbering girl crying at the ticket counter and the other customers checking in looking at me, worried, finally got the supervisor's attention, and I saw him begin to print stuff out. (One guy even asked me what the problem was, and I told him. He said, "you'd think that'd fit on a plane." "It does!" I told him, though this was more directed at the ticket agents.)
The supervisor finally came out to talk to me, and explained that sometimes musical instruments do not always fit on planes, such as cellos.
"This is NOT a CELLO. It's a VIOLIN!"
"Hey, hey, I'm on your side!"
"I'm not mad at you, I just want to figure out why I can't take this on the plane!"
I also explained to him that the original reason given for me not taking this on the plane wasn't a size issue at all, but he blew past this and pretended he didn't hear it. Finally, after lots of arguing, a measuring tape taken to my case, and once more telling him that I wasn't hauling around a cello on my shoulder, they refunded my ticket. This was on the condition that I would board first in order to ensure that there would be room on the plane for my violin.
Whatever makes ya happy, I suppose.
I made my way to the gate, and the guy at the gate recognized me as the sobbing girl from the ticket counter. "The supervisor said I should board first," I told him.
"I know, that's my boss. Where's your cello?"
In as calm a voice as I could muster at this point, I explained once again that it was a string instrument related to but MUCH SMALLER than a cello.
"Oh, there's gonna be plenty of room for that. I wonder why he made such a big deal about it."
At the end of it all, it turned out okay, and I had a very nice flight back to Chicago, but the experience was seriously traumatizing. At one point I had opened my case for the lady at the ticket counter, and she cooed at how beautiful my violin was. "It's like your baby."
"Yes, yes it is like my baby." Leading my brain's conclusion to, would you want some airline trying to check YOUR baby??
My baby is now resting safely in my dining room at home, thank you very much.
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