Right?
So why do I still allow myself to be so affected by my anything-but-motivational teacher? Isn't that allowing myself to be influenced by the anti-future Casey?
That last paragraph didn't make any sense. I can't even write anymore.
The real, truthful meaning of grad school, it seems, is to solidify your sense of self enough so that when you go in to the real world, people meet solid You and not the malleable You. They are able to see your concrete ideas and not silly ramblings of insecurity about the rest of your life.
Right?
I feel so torn about what to do. Should I get more school and training? Should I just try performing? And when do I make the decision to either take what my teacher says to heart and let it drive me crazy OR shake it off and focus on the task at hand?
Again, this may not make any sense. I apologize for that, but therein lies the beauty of blogging - it's free and doesn't have to do anything except vaguely reflect the current feelings and thoughts of the blogger at one particular moment.
I've got a recital on Saturday. It's at 7:30 at the Music Institute. I've got a lot of people coming who love and support me no matter how I do, which means more than I think they all realize. And I've got one person in particular there who thinks I practice like a lazy person and gets everything done at the last minute.
Which, as I have to remember, is infinitely better than not getting it done at all.