Because I keep thinking of all the great times I'm going to have after I graduate. Gonna focus on freelancing in Portland, get an apartment that costs A LOT LESS than apartments here, and I'm going to live my life school free for the very first time in 19 years. I kinda don't remember what it was like to not be in school.
But I've started thinking about all the plusses: I can get a hobby. I can have time to read. I could wake up leisurely in the morning because I'll be by myself with rehearsals that don't start until the afternoon or evening. I may struggle a bit financially at first, but OH once I get myself in the network... what joy and rapture to discover a new city all by myself!
(I also have to buy a car next year. We're not really sure how that's gonna happen just yet.)
So with all these thoughts swimming around in my head, can you imagine what a pain it is to go to something like contemporary music ensemble and play MAYBE 30 notes between two pieces in our most recent minimalist concert? (Which is over now, hooray...) Or to drag myself to Skokie Valley and put up with attitude that just wears me out?
Don't get me wrong, the security and stability I've got right now is something I'm in NO HURRY to leave. But thinking about next year makes it harder and harder for me to focus on the few remedial tasks I still have yet to do to finish my degree. Oy.
***
In other news, shopping for bridesmaid dresses sucks.
I have called every bridal shop in town, looking for this one particular dress to try on for Stacey. She's being very kind in that she wants to make sure I look good in the dress before I buy it, so she's asking me to try it on and get back to her. However, the shops that carry this particular dress only have it in a sample size and color. The sample size is usually an 8. I'm more like a 14 or 16... I have no hope of even trying to squeeze in to an 8. So of course every bridal store offers to order it for me. But that means I have to buy it. AND it takes 3-4 months to ship the damn thing. So I finally called Stacey and told her that if the other two bridesmaids look good in the dress, so shall I.
And if I don't... does anyone want to give me $120 for a slightly used VERY beautiful violet dress come... July?
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