Here are a few things I'd like to spill out.
I have to stop spending my money completely until I start making some.
I need to take my passport to that guy to start getting paid.
I've got to start apartment hunting soon.
I've got a huuuuuge audition for a summer program I reeeeeally want on Thursday and another audition for a program I wouldn't mind getting into a week from Saturday.
I've got to sound decent on Saturday with my concerto, too.
Somehow I've got four months to put together a recital - a third of which I haven't even begun to work on.
I need to figure out what kind of improvisation skills I'll need at my Saturday audition.
I feel so fat sometimes.
I really want to be practicing six hours a day. Somehow I can't get past three.
Sometimes I feel like I've gotten worse at the violin since I've gotten here.
With Tom agonizingly close, sometimes it's harder to think about him than when he was still in Colorado.
I know Ribeiro has my best interests at heart, but he's no Mr. Fuchs when it comes to support.
As great as my new job is in the orchestra office, and as much as everyone seems to like me, I have no way of knowing how long it will last. I wouldn't mind it as my full-time job, but I can't have it like that because I'm a student, apparently.
I'm stumped as to what to get Tom for Valentine's day, and it's rapidly approaching.
I spent six hours at work and two and a half hours in the practice room, and the thing I feel most accomplished at today is getting my key for the locker room in Regenstein. Somehow I find that wrong.
The fact that I haven't been able to get to sleep is making me more stressed, which is probably the reason I couldn't get to sleep in the first place. It's a vicious cycle.
I really want to snack on some pad thai in the fridge, but I feel too fat to indulge at the moment.
I'm sick of being the biggest girl out of all of my friends.
I have no idea when my cell phone bill is due because my payment over the phone thing isn't working at the moment.
I may not get to go to Gold Coast this summer, and this fact breaks my heart.
I haven't even started working up my Corigliano for my Saturday audition.
I need to get my laundry from downstairs, but I've woken them up before and I hate wrestling with the damn dogs sometimes.
The happiest I've been musically since June is in Brian's studio recording for D.O.R.K.
Sometimes I think of dropping out of school and taking up creative writing and photography full time.
***
I hope this didn't depress you too much. All these thoughts just come to me late at night. I've got stuff during the day like Tom, my friends, thoughts of exploring Chicago, and various other happy things to keep my mind off of them during the day. Someday, perhaps when this quarter is over, I'll begin to sleep easily again.
Thanks for listening. It's off to bed with Friends on in the background, hoping to drift easily off to sleep.
Previous | Next