Then I read some of my old entries and realize how incredibly shallow and mindfully wasteful I managed to be.
It wasn't my fault - I did the best I could. Teenagers are meant to be mindfully wasteful. It makes them much more appreciative of the little things later in life. (Or very very friendly potheads, which, in all honesty, is not a bad route to take sometimes.) My point is, that highschoolers are often trying to deal with, but once you picture the beautiful revelations their unintuitiveness will eventually bring them, it's beautiful.
This is apparently the mantra I have to repeat to myself over the next few days... for I work in the music library and it's NHSMI time! (National High School Music Institute) There's a lot of new people - a lot - who are brand new 14-18ers that have NO idea how to work our system. Or a library system in general. (On more than one occasion, I've found a piece, given someone a call number, and have them give me a blank stare and say, "What is this?" Be friends with the Library of Congress EARLY, people.)
I'll admit, I'd probably be scared and clueless coming here as a highschooler. Hell, I was scared and clueless coming here as a graduate student. But I think I had enough pluckiness to figure a few things out on my own!
For instance: the array of computers here = catalog access. Yes, the catalog is finicky, but give it a couple tries before you give up completely. You may surprise yourself.
And here's something I was taught NEVER to do which has slowly started to drive me insane. If there's any NHSMI participant reading this: please don't HOVER a foot away and wait for me to realize you're there. It's really annoying and, frankly, a little creepy. I don't know what you want, I don't know if you're just standing there. Just say something to the effect of "excuse me."
Please don't call me "ma'am." I'm only 24. I know that's a term of politeness, but geez, it makes me realize I'm potentially 10 years older than you are. I don't want to think about this. Ever. Trust me - wait until you're 24, and the minute you're no longer a student, people begin to call you "ma'am." Then see how you feel. I will teach my child to NEVER refer to people like this. Or "miss." Just "excuse me" is fine enough.
I just realized I may have some unresolved age issues. (I'm starting to understand how my sister must have felt that time that someone mistook me for her daughter. That must have just ruined her week.)
In a way, I suppose, it's fascinating. The world of music is an interesting little microsociety. While people from all walks of life are involved in the process, making it unbiased, diverse, and wholly accepting of the human being, the thoughts that pass through musicians minds about other musicians are some of the most judgmental, pathetic, and vile things that people manage to think about someone's personality... just because they play a certain instrument. (Maybe not vile. But associating a certain kind of musician with sluttiness? Not all that uncommon.) And here we are, at a fairly clear moment, where it's too soon for these judgments to enter these kids' minds. Yet I KNOW who plays piano (the ultra-worried kid who knows the twenty-word title of her exercise book that she needs by heart), who sings (the guy who asks for pieces not knowing the composer or if it's from a greater work and who can hover like the best of them), and who the poor violists are - picked out of the group to be sent on a mission to get music because they're swayed way too easily ("Do you need a score or parts?" "Well... um... I don't know...").
As annoying as they all are - as annoying as I was - keep it up, geeks. The music world needs annoyances like you. And eventually - I promise this - you will be envied, and not ridiculed, for being able to pursue your passion.
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