I opened up the music library this morning, and since then, only a guy and his kid came to poke around the stacks and see what it's like. It's so quiet here, and until things start to speed up a little, I'm just sitting in a cumfy office chair behind the circulation desk.
It's really amazing how the internal daily human agenda works. Last year I had several days where I only had one class to attend. More often than not, I would stay at home until that class forced me to get off my butt and go to school. This job is making me get to school much sooner, and I'm therefore practicing much more these days. This can only lead me to the conclusion that if I have nothing to do one day, I'll get very little practicing done. But if I have a jam-packed schedule, I will cram practice sessions into the little breaks that I have, and actually work in a fairly productive manner.
Ribeiro has now decided I work best under deadlines, so he has set some stringent performance milestones for me. This sets me performing the first movement of the Tchaikovsky - memorized and with piano - in 3 to 4 weeks in studio class. Not to mention that this Wednesday he wants the first a minor Bach movement performed - memorized - in studio class as well. While this may sound stressful, it's a little relief to know that he feels I can handle this kind of stress. He can see that I work hard, and that I do my best to fix what needs fixed. It was just that tiny spark of faith in my ability to work that I needed to set a fire under my ass and get down to business. I am starting to really enjoy myself amid the frustration.
Which of course begs the question: what do I do when I'm out of here, provided I don't get a job right away? Oy, the questions that plague me. I'm bouncing back and forth between constant auditioning and perhaps getting another degree, maybe even overseas. Of course, I don't know how plausible that is. I've just made it my personal policy to never say no to anything that appears like an opportunity and hope that something pans out. It has so far.