I've had the Civic audition lined up for a while, and have the official call time lined up for 7PM a week from Tuesday. Holy crap. This isn't just a local thing. The Civic Orchestra is a training orchestra for the Chicago Symphony. It pays very little, but sounds like gold. While I'm not really expecting to shine past the competition, this will give me great experience in a professional orchestra and will keep me INCREDIBLY busy during the year. There are people who have to hop in their car after NUSO rehearsal and head straight downtown, just barely making Civic rehearsal. I have a feeling it would all be worth it, though, for a chance to play with the downtown biggies. So, to sum up, small chance+big opportunity=working my ass off.
Two days later, as I just found out through an email, I'm auditioning for a six week opera program in Graz. Austria. All expenses paid minus the flight over there. And though there are three seperate excerpts I need to learn for this that I don't learn for the Civic audition, I've worked them all up to audition level at least once, so I'm not working on anything for the first time around. So, to sum up, good excerpts+free vacation=how could I not work my ass off?
A week from that following Saturday, I audition for the Henry Mancini Institute, a four week summer program in LA dedicated to jazz and contemporary music. I would get individual attention in music I've yet to have a bad experience in. (That's saying a lot... even though I love orchestra so much, I can't tell you how many pieces have left a sour taste in my mouth. Glinka, Harry Potter sountrack, that bass concerto we played my junior year at UNC... I'm in no mood to play any of those again any time soon) No excerpts to learn here, just solo music and improvising skills. So, to sum up, 20th century music+again, free vacation=working my ass off to go to LA in some form or another.
Of course, if none of these programs work out, I would certainly hope that I am still invited to the Gold Coast chamber music festival as the emerging artist. Though moving it to August seems to have put a kink in my schedule. I just assumed a week in June was going to be dedicated to this camp. Andrew recently emailed me telling me it was moved... and while I don't think I could pass up an opportunity to go to a more intensive camp to keep my chops up over the summer, I would certainly miss my always amazing week in the city of angels.
I'm a little stressed. I thought I'd have downtime after this marathon weekend of concerts, and now I'll have to start waking up even earlier to get my shit done.
Everyone told me a masters degree would be harder because of the environment. There would be a lot of good players, and coming from a humble background, I would definitely have my work cut out for me. And there were even a few undertones of "you may not be able to handle the pressure to get better FAST" with a few of these sound words of advice. It turns out, though, that everyone at Northwestern is incredibly supportive. It's a fun, social environment. And I'm motivated to work hard because I feel inspired, not because I'm desperately trying to stop from drowning. (Or, at least, THIS quarter I feel that way.) But I can see the talent they speak of, I can see the gems that will go on to do great things, and I have learned to work hard for and appreciate every opportunity that comes my way. Northwestern is a challenge in those ways, but I enjoy those challenges.
Nearly NO ONE warned me of the freaking WORK you have to do. Like the dread of "oh, shit, I have to learn seven excerpts in a week and a half." Or looking at my planner and realizing, "Hm. I have a rehearsal tomorrow for an opera I've never seen or heard before in my life. Better make sure I have coffee money so my sight reading skills are maxed out." Or looking at a week's spread and thinking, "Do I really not have one free night I can spend doing nothing this week?" Or, of course, looking around your room and thinking, "I really don't know where my metronome is at this point. I've got to put all my laundry away and get to bed before I have to wake up at 6 and get my shit DONE."
I won't think of this so much tomorrow. I love what I'm doing too much. I live for Yampolsky-isms this year, and you can bet I'm keeping track of them. Here's my favorite, uttered before our first reading of Mahler 1:
"Harmonics. Nobody knows why we have them, nobody likes them, nobody knows how to play them."
Leave it to the Russians to tell it like it is.
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